


My Dying Wish

by Mysticmcknight



Series: Doctor Fest [7]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 20:23:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10816047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticmcknight/pseuds/Mysticmcknight
Summary: Tragedy strikes and an unforeseen understanding is revealed. (No, none of the boys die)





	My Dying Wish

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Au, so not canon in several aspects of this story.

Killing Sloan was never in the plan when Julian entered inside the man’s mind to find the cure for Odo, but that was the result, even if it was a successful mission, for Odo anyway. Julian had thrown himself into his work making the antidote and trying to forget some of the things he discovered during his mind trip or the after effects. 

Sisko cleared him and Miles of any charges in light of what was deemed the only way of saving Odo and the Federation of being responsible for genocide. The fact that Sloan’s body was stolen from the infirmary two day’s later was unnerving to everyone, but especially Julian. But that wasn’t the most unsettling thing that bothered the young man. Inside Sloan’s head when things looked bleak, Julian and Miles had a strange though enlightening conversation. Though they both professed love for either their wife or girlfriend, there was a undertone of love for the other too. They couldn’t help but admit some truth in it; they did like each other a whole lot more than their counter parts in the ‘real’ world. But, Miles was married and he was the faithful kind and Julian wouldn’t want it any other way…well, not anyway that would interfere with things, and he did love Ezri, but Miles…. He just needed time to get his head on straight and all would be back to normal in no time. 

After a few weeks, things not only got back to normal, but the Founders were more than grateful to the young man that when he pleaded for peace, they were compelled to give it. Though there was going to be heavy security around the wormhole for some time, the fighting had come to an end and things were starting to adjust. Miles had gone to Bajor to spend time with Keiko and the kids as Julian and Ezri contemplated moving in with one another. The security was still tight, and Julian had his hands full with blood test, even his own by a random person, sometime three times a day. He couldn’t blame them; he had been replaced a few times, and was glad that like others, he hadn’t been killed. Today was no different as troops moved through one end to another of the military zone around the wormhole. 

But peace wasn’t going to last forever as the next week proved as the Jem Hadar ships plowed through the barricade of ships around the wormhole and started attacking once again. The injured piled up and Julian was doing his best to keep as many alive as he could. When the Jem Hadar ships retreated, and ten hours of surgery later, Julian headed to find comfort, and headed to where he wanted to be most, his best friend, Miles. The two men talked and joked for hours in Quarks and then were aided by Odo back to their perspective quarters to rest. 

Julian woke the next day with a bit of a hangover and surprised to find Ezri in his bed, then remembered he drank too much and thought that she must have fetched him. “Sorry,” he mumbled as he stumbled out of bed. 

“Oh, Julian. Why did you get so drunk last night?” she asked concerned. “If you needed to talk…”

“I was talking…to Miles,” he smiled a tad playfully. “But I also wanted to forget,” he added as his smile disappeared from his face. He looked at the young woman in his bed and for a moment wondered why she was there. “Look, Ez. I’m fine, just a bit of unwinding between friends, that’s all. I’m sorry you had to fetch me,” he stated as he moved to the bathroom. 

“I didn’t. Odo brought you home,” she replied as she sat up in bed. “Julian, I knew you had a bad day, why didn’t you…”

“Why didn’t I what?” he asked from the bathroom.

“Well, why did you seek out Miles instead of me?” she pouted.

“EZ! This isn’t a competition. I wanted to hangout with Miles, were friends…good friends, you know this,” Julian replied a bit irritated. He turned to slide the bathroom door closed not only for a bit of privacy, but this conversation was going to lead to another argument if he didn’t nip it in the bud now. Once alone he got undressed and took a shower and got ready to go to work, deciding to skip breakfast and another pouting session from Ezri. 

That day was mind blowing. When Captain Sisko stated that he had plans for ending the war, his being lost in the closed wormhole was totally unexpected. No one knew if they should mourn or just be patient, for Sisko did say he’d be back, but no one knew when. It was also unexpected that Odo would chose to leave to return home. Everyone knew things would be drastically changing that day and was sure something of value would be left behind. 

 

*********************

A week later there were many changes on the station. Sisko was declared missing in action by Starfleet thus entitling his wife and mother to full benefits. Garak was long gone back to Cardassia to help rebuild his world, left in ruins by the Jem Hadar and the Founders. Kira was now in charge and though still held the Bajoran title, she had accepted a commission from Starfleet, and Miles was going to transfer to Earth with Kieko and the children. The last bit of news was too much for the young doctor and the night Miles told him he verbally ripped off the older man’s head for betraying their friendship and stormed off to get drunk…alone. 

Miles found the drunk, sobbing young man in one of the old pylons that was closed down a couple of weeks ago. Miles moved near Julian and sat down, the guilt of hurting Julian clear on his face. “Look, Julian. You’re my best friend in the entire universe. Just because I have to go back to earth…”

“Why!” Julian cried. “Why do you have to go back? Why are you leaving me too?” he demanded. 

“Ah, bloody hell Julian. I’m not leaving you because I want too, it’s because I have too. Keiko has had enough of being out here. She’s made it clear that we go to Earth and we stay there or I’ll no longer have my family. Julian, what could I do?” he asked, hoping the young man would understand. 

“You never told me she gave you an ultimatum,” Julian replied a bit of understanding punching through his hazed brain. 

“No, but I knew you’d be upset and I also knew you’d tell me to go, wouldn’t you?” Miles asked. He looked at Julian as he could see the dark eyes he enjoyed watching over the year’s whirl in thought. “Julian?”

“All right, all right. Yes. Yes, I would have told you to go…but it doesn’t make it hurt any less,” he snapped. 

“I know,” Miles replied as he slid closer to his friend. He placed a supporting arm around Julian. “I don’t like it either, but we’ll stay in touch…. We have to. Besides, I don’t think the squad would last a day with out me backing you up and the lame brain ideas you’re always coming up with,” he laughed, referring to the holodeck flight squadron they were leaders of. 

“True, but the Alamo won’t be the same,” he grumbled, as he wiped a few tears way. 

“Then instead of us drowning our sorrows here in a dusty old pylon, we go win the Alamo, history be damned, for old time sake?”

Julian looked up and smiled, “You’re on!” then the two friends crawled out of the pylon to go fight the last fight together. 

 

*****************

That night Julian was feeling like he should just crawl under the bed instead of being in it. Ezri was playing councilor with him…him who had a psychology degree just like she did, about letting go of the past and talking about what he felt inside. How could he tell her that today he wanted to wrap his arms around his best friend and never let him go? //Like that would go over well, // he thought. “I have to use the bathroom,” he lied, just so he could have a few minutes of peace when he com badge beeped. 

“Julian…”

It was Miles and something was wrong. Julian dashed to his badge next to the bed, “Miles, what’s wrong?”

“Julian…could you…” 

Julian could hear pain…emotional pain in his friend’s voice. “I’m on my way,” he stated and placed the badge on his pajama shirt and grabbed a robe and left without a word or a look at the puzzled Ezri. 

When he got to Miles' door he entered in the code he was given and moved inside. He saw Miles with three empty scotch bottles in front of him and he had been crying. He moved next to the older man and placed an arm around his shoulder, “Miles, what’s wrong?” he asked concerned for his dearest friend. 

“She…she’s gone,” he sob.

Julian knew by the she and the alcohol that it had to be Keiko. “Why would you she leave you? You agreed….”

“No!” Miles shouted in anger, thought not really at Julian. “She’s gone! Dead!” he shouted then sobbed. 

Julian paled, this was too unreal to believe, but the pain Miles was obviously feeling made it all too real. He hugged his friend and let him cry until the older man cried himself to sleep in Julian’s arms. Then when he could lay Miles down and covered him with a blanket he moved to the com unit and contacted Kira. 

“Oh thank the prophets!” Kira said as she saw that it was Julian calling her. “He wouldn’t let me contact anyone, made me swear not too. I’m glad he contacted you though,” she said relieved.

“My word, Nerys, what happened?” Julian asked. 

“It was a freak accident. Keiko was doing one last site check, which was down by the old fire caves. Well there was a quake and the valley was struck hard. She and two others were killed in the accident,” Kira finished, the pain of loss in her face as well; though it wouldn’t be clear to anyone who didn’t know her. 

“How are the children taking it?” Julian inquired. 

“They are with a friend of Kieko’s, but Molly is taking this really hard of course, and Yoshi…well, he’s still too young to understand yet. But the Bajoran government wants to send them here, but…”

“But?”

“Julian, I don’t think Miles is going to be in any shape to care for them, much less get them?” Kira replied a bit annoyed, but obviously at her government. 

“Get them? You mean they want to send them here, but they still want us to get them?”

“Well, the children are too young to travel on their own, and…. Ah hell, Julian. Bajor just doesn’t want the possibility of having them dumped on them. I told them that would never be the case but…”

“They’re stupid as usual,” Julian grumbled. “How soon did they say?”

“They want them picked up as soon as possible,” Kira stated. 

“Miles is out and should be out for hours. I’ll go get them, if you let me have…”

“You’re a good man, Julian! But don’t tell anyone I said that. Of course you can. I’ll have the Renoko standing bye and I’ll make sure Bajor knows your coming for the children. I’ll also contact Ezri,” she finished relieved that this was pulling together. 

“Why?” Julian asked innocently, wondering what Ezri had to do with anything. 

“To help the Chief, that’s why,” Kira replied at the strange question. 

“Oh, of course. Well, I best be getting dressed and I’ll be on my way,” Julian stated then closed the channel. He turned to his sleeping friend, his pain still on his face. He reached out and caressed a flustered cheek. “Don’t worry Miles. I’ll help you through this,” he said and leaned over and gave a small kiss on the older man’s forehead. Then he got up and headed back to his quarters to get dressed. 

****************

 

Though it wasn’t daddy, Uncle Julian was the next best thing to a familiar loving face the two children could cling too. Julian let them cling to him and cry their hearts out, and did his best to sooth them, though he knew only time and lots of love would ever ease the pain, if never take it away. Kirayoshi just kept crying that he wanted his mommy, and though Molly tried to tell him that she was in heaven, the small boy was too young to understand. Julian advised Molly to just let Yoshi cry, and that he’ll have to come to an understanding on his own, and that they needed to be honest with him but patient. 

Molly cried a lot too. She asked why her dad didn’t come and get them, a bit of anger in her voice, but Julian assured Molly that Miles would have, but Colonel Kira wouldn’t let him off the station since he was just as upset about loosing his wife as Molly was of loosing her mother. Julian was glad that this was sufficient to sooth the child so she wouldn’t direct any unwanted emotions to her emotionally strained Father and his friend. 

The trip back to DS9, when he didn’t have to be in the pilot seat was spent in another seat, with the two children on his lap, crying or sleeping from exhaustion of their pain, their confusion, and their grief. Julian shared his tears, for though he cared deeply for Miles, he also cared a great deal for Keiko too. The O’Brien’s were like his surrogate family, having practically watched Molly grow up and was responsible for helping Kirayoshi live to be born via the emergency implantation to Kira when Kieko was hurt. Julian felt the loss, and held on tightly as he could to lend what streanght he could to the small ones. 

When they arrived, he wasn’t surprised to see Miles at the airlock and grab his kids up. His tone to them was apologetic, to Julian a mixture of anger and gratitude. “I should have been with you,” he stated.

“You were in no condition to handle the trip, me and Colonel Kira agreed,” he said, letting Miles know what he had said to the children as for the reason he wasn’t there. 

“Well, thank you, Julian,” Miles said as he picked up Yoshi and started to head them back to their station quarters.”

“Miles, if you need help?” Julian asked, not so much as to be nice, but he felt like part of the family that was being left behind. 

“Thank you, but…” before he could finish Molly ran back and jumped up in Julian’s arms, apparently wanting to be held and carried too. “That would be great,” he finished. 

Getting the kids down to sleep was a chore, but getting Miles was worse, but Julian managed. Then he contacted Kira and asked for some time off to help Miles and the kids. He was glad that Kira agreed and gave him two weeks, but she doubt she could spear him longer and that any real emergencies he’d be called back immediately. Julian agreed. Then he moved to the sofa and fell a sleep himself. 

He awoke later that night to a soft beeping and Julian realized it was the com unit. He double-checked that everyone was still a sleep and answered it. “Yes?” he yawned. 

“Julian, what are still doing there at this hour?” Ezri asked a bit irritated. 

“Helping them out and sleeping on the couch, why?” he yawned. 

“Miles and the children need time to bond and grieve; your support though welcomed should have its limits. You shouldn’t be there around the clock, otherwise you’ll get in the way of them working things out,” she stated as professionally as possible. 

Julian took offense to this. “I am not in the way,” he snapped back quietly. “And for your information, Nerys agrees that I should be here too, that’s why she gave me two weeks off,” he added. 

Ezri look annoyed and surprised. “Two weeks? You’re planning on being over there for two weeks?”

“No,” Julian replied calmly. “I plan on being here for as long as Miles and the kids need me and I’m sure it’ll be far past two weeks. I’ll just have to work like anyone else,” he replied. 

Ezri looked angry and her bottom lip puffed up, “Well, I wouldn’t worry about it. Miles is scheduled to transfer back to Earth by the end of the week anyway,” she shot back, than immediately felt guilty for such a low blow. She realized she was being foolish; Julian cared a lot for the O’Brien’s. She shouldn’t feel so threatened by this situation. Miles is a recently widowed man with two children and Julian his best friend was only trying to help out. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” she said softly. 

“Yes, your right. That was uncalled for. Ez, you obviously have a few issues of your own to work out. Why don’t we just call it a night and I’ll talk to you later, all right?”

“All right,” Ezri stated. “Good night.”

“Night,” Julian replied then closed the com channel. 

“I’m not sure if I can,” Miles voice traveled from behind Julian. 

Julian was startled and jumped up to see Miles wrapped in his night robe making his way to the couch. “Miles, I though you were sleeping?” he stated.

“I was, but then I heard voices…”

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Ah, forget it, Julian,” Miles said softly. “Besides, all I was dreaming about was Kieko and they didn’t end too well,” he said, trying to suppress a sob. 

Julian moved to sit next to his best friend. “Oh, Miles,” he said then gave him a huge hug. “Somehow it’ll be okay…some how,” he whispered. 

“I don’t think I can…” Miles said again. 

“Don’t think you can what?” Julian asked as he leaned back and looked his dear friend in the eye. 

“Go back to earth. I mean the house we had chosen was near Keiko’s family, and she did all the decorations…and…Shit Julian. The very house is Keiko! How can I go there?” the older man started to cry again. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Miles,” Julian said as he hugged the older man again. “I’m here and I’ll help in anyway I can, I promise,” Julian whispered. “Your not alone in this, just remember that, okay?”

“Okay,” Miles replied through tears. Then leaned back and looked into Julian’s dark eyes, again feeling the draw, this time he reached out and wiped some of the young man’s tears away feeling the soft skin he’s wanted to touch for so long. A moment…a heart beat…a look…then saved from a mistake by a wail of a small child. 

“I’ll go,” Julian offered. 

“No, I’ll go. I have to face this just like they do,” Miles replied warmly then moved to go lend comfort to his son. 

Julian felt the moment too, //I have to becarefull, Miles is vulnerable. I will not take advantage of him in this matter! // He swore to himself as he moved to replicate some tea for him and the older man. When he turned around he found a quietly crying Molly peeking out of her room. He moved to the couch and with a small gestured, the young girl dashed and was up on his lap and hugging him tightly. “Oh, Molly,” he soothed. 

“Daddy’s with Yoshi and I know he say’s I should be a big girl….” She softly sobbed.

“Ah, sweetie. Your Dad would not be upset by your crying or wanting to be held one little bit, honey,” Julian warmly said.

“Julian?” she asked looking up at the man she knew most her life as a part of the family. 

“Yes, sweetie?” he replied.

“You’re a doctor. Why did mommy have to die?” she asked. 

//Oh heaven! // His mind and heart screamed. “Honey…it’s true I am a doctor. But even I don’t know why people die, honey. I can tell you what caused it and sometimes if I’m really lucky I can prevent it…but I don’t know why it happens, I’m sorry,” Julian said, as fresh tears on his face fell. 

“Me too,” Molly said as she curled up on Julian’s lap, finding safety in his arms and falling asleep. 

Miles came out holding a sleeping Yoshi and smiled at the sight on the couch, he couldn’t help it. Molly was curled up next to Julian, who also fell asleep; she looked like his teddy bear. He placed the blanket that was on the floor over them and headed back to his room with Yoshi in his arms. 

 

********************

 

The funeral had been very difficult for everyone, especially the O’Briens. The ceremony was brief and then the body was to be shipped back to earth as was in Keiko’s will should anything happen to her. Julian was by their sides, all three of them, through out the day and night, despite what Ezri was telling him. 

On a rare moment, Julian was in his quarters gathering some items to make his stay over the O'Briens’ a bit more comfortable while Kira was with Miles and the children at the wake that Kieko also insisted on. Julian heard his door chime and had asked who ever it was to enter. He exited his room with a small bag to see Ezri, her arms folded around her chest angry. “What?” he asked defensively. 

“What? It’s been four days since I’ve seen you, much less a word from you and you ask me what? Now I know your playing martyr to Miles, and to some degree I can understand. But why have you suddenly cut me out?” she demanded. 

Julian looked at the young Trill and gave an internal crooked smile, // Why indeed, // he thought. Then he closed his eyes and released a sigh as the truth was to be acknowledged. “Because, I have not the energy to be there for Miles and the kids and here fighting with you. So…I’ve decided to no longer fight with you, that’s why.”

Ezri felt like she just got slapped in the face. “What? What are you saying?” she asked as her posture straightened and she stared at Julian dismayed. 

“I’m saying it’s over, Ez. You don’t love me, you want me to coddle you, and I won’t do it. You have over 300 years of experience in you and you look to me? Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t give you what you want. Though to be fair, it isn’t all you. I’m…I’m not in love with you the way I feel I should be,” he said. 

“What do you mean, you’re not in love with me as you think you should be?” she asked, as her face flushed with the heat of anger. 

“Just what it sounds like, Ez. I do love you, but I…I don’t see us having a future together. Plus, I’m tired of you either lecturing me, yelling at me, counseling me, or trying to get me to prove myself to you, Ez. I’m done with it. If I’m going to coddle anyone or be any of that stuff, I want it to be someone I don’t mind one bit with…that isn’t you. I’m sorry,” Julian said. He knew his tone was sharper than he had wanted, but he himself was sharper from the war. The only person that brought out the better side of him was Miles. Julian thought it was because the older man always had that effect on him, he just could see it better now. “If you’d excuse me,” he said as he started to move past Ezri only to be assaulted with a hard slap to the face as she exited out. Julian rubbed his face as he moved out himself to Miles quarters. 

Later that night, after Julian and Miles had the children to sleep they shared some coffee, though Miles wanted scotch, Julian had seen to it that the older man wasn’t able to turn to that crutch. It was too easy for someone like Miles to be addicted to the stuff, especially when he’s in such emotional pain. They sat on the couch and after a short moment of silence, “Julian. In the stuff I got from Bajor, there was a recording addressed to you and me,” he said softly. 

“Us?” Julian said in surprise. “Do you know why?” he asked. 

“No, but on the outside it said that you and I should watch it alone…. Were as alone as were going to get,” he said, looking at Julian to see if he was ready to see the message. When he saw Julian nod yes, he moved to the desk where the data rod was and then checked to make sure the kids were sound asleep then placed it in the main viewer. Mile moved to sit down next to Julian, “Computer, run recording,” he said. 

The main screen blinked then the screen filled with Kieko’s face. She was smiling, a bit nervous, as she sat on a sofa in her apartment on Bajor. “Hi, guys,” she smiled. “I know this is tough for you, but even tougher for me,” she chuckled a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry Miles, but if you’re watching this, than I died. I don’t know what possessed me to make this, but with the war and the talk of death, and all the nights of thinking of your death…one night it occurred to me, that it could just as easily be mine. Then like any loving wife and mother I thought about what I could do to make things easier for those I loved, left behind. 

She shifted and gave a crooked smile, “At this point, that’s where you come in Julian. You are the most sweetest, adorable person I know, and your friendship with Miles is extraordinary. I’ve watched as it bloomed over the years…and that’s why…” she looked down from the recorder, “That’s why I gave Miles the ultimatum.”

“What!” Miles and Julian stated in shock together. 

“Yes, I’m ashamed to say, that’s why, Miles. The truth is, I was jealous. I saw what was building between the two of you and feared loosing you, so I pushed you, knowing you were the type of man that would never do wrong by me. But in doing so, I was willing to do wrong by you. Julian, I too am sorry. I know in my mind that neither of you would do a thing to disrupt our marriage, but I’m not blind. You two love each other…you can deny it all you want…but it’s there and it’s true.” Keiko sits back on the couch and curls up to herself. 

“Julian, I’m sorry I took Miles from you. I’m sorry, I didn’t talk with you about this, but even knowing you’d do the right thing…I couldn’t tell you to your face how I felt. So, if this recording is being watched, it will mean that A) Julian your not married to anyone, and B) I haven’t changed my mind about this and you and Miles still have a great deal of feelings for each other…. So here it goes.” Keiko shift closer to the recorder. 

“Miles, I’m sorry…but you know in your heart how much I love you and the kids. You were my life, even if at times I didn’t show it. And I don’t regret one moment of being your wife or our children’s’ mother…not one. I do regret forcing you away from Julian…so this is my attempt to make it right. If it is at all possible, it is my…last wish that the two of you finally admit how you both feel for each other…and be happy. Julian, the children adore you…hell, so do I,” she smiles. “And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve never glowed the way you do when you’re around them or Miles. You’re apart of us…I know that…” she looks down again, ashamed. “But I’m too traditional to open the door for any other option, and I’m too insecure, so…well, we know what I did. But,” she looks up, “Julian, if you still do love Miles, and Miles, if you still love Julian…then…be together. Be happy with my blessings,” she states as tears fall down here face. “I just hope it’s not too late. And Julian, I know somehow you’ll forgive me, as I do hope you will too Miles.” She wipes the tears from her face. “Keep this to show Molly and Yoshi if you feel they may need to know I approve, but I can’t see them not wanting Julian around, and I don’t think Julian would replace me…Just take over were I left off, loving all of you,” she smiled, again tears down her face. “I’ve made a couple of recordings for the kids too. I pray that it is not too late. I ‘do’ love you both, and Miles…I love you! Be happy…please.” The picture fades out. 

Julian and Miles stared at the blank screen, tears of their own flowing freely. Julian then feeling awkward slowly starts to shift off the couch but a set of strong arms grabs him and pulls him into an embrace. Though Julian was a bit startled, he melts into the embrace and hugs Miles tightly as the older man cries some more. Julian rubs his back as he tries to sooth the man he did love, as he grieved the fresh pain of loss of his wife. 

“Julian…” Miles tried to speak, but his emotions were too raw. 

“Shhh, not now, Miles. We’ll talk about things another time; there is no rush what so ever. Shhh, just don’t worry about anything…anything. I’m here for as long as you need me, no strings, Miles. Just grieve,” he say’s as he too lets tears flow. The two of them cried and cuddled, but didn’t say a word for the rest of the night, then fell asleep on the couch together. 

When Julian awoke he was surprised to find Yoshi in his arms instead of Miles. He looked around and realized that it was about 10:00hrs and slowly moved so not to disturb the small boy, but Yoshi was sensitive to the body heat and opened his dark eyes and scrambled to be hugged by Julian. Julian hugged the small boy tightly as he stood up with a small roar that made Yoshi giggle. Then he looked around and saw a PADD on the table and moved over to read it. Miles left him a note stating that he and Molly were going to spend some time together and hoped he didn’t mind watching Yoshi…“though you agreed”, Miles was sure Julian was still asleep himself. Miles also said he was going to talk to Kira about not transferring to Earth, at least not right away. This left Julian a bit ambiguous, for he wasn’t sure how to take all this. Kieko’s confession of jealousy threw him, but he couldn’t deny it anymore. He did love Miles, had for years, but he would never do a thing to interfere…now that she was gone, he felt…terrible, but at the same time she said it was her last wish. Julian wasn’t sure how Miles felt, but he would give of himself all that he could, for Miles, Molly, Kirayoshi, and for Kieko. 

“Hungry?” he asked Yoshi. 

“Yes, Juwin,” the small boy replied. 

He put the small boy down in his high chair. “Pancakes?” he asked as he moved to the replicator to get them. He didn’t notice Miles and Molly come in. 

“Juwin, r you r new mommy?” the small boy asked. 

Julian froze by the replicator then turned slowly, still not seeing the two people that was watching this scene occurring. “No honey,” he smiled. “No one can take your Mommy’s place, and no one would even try. But I love you and I’ll be here for you as best I can and as long as I can,” he replied, glad to see that Yoshi may not understand all of that, he was soothed by it. What he didn’t expect was to be barreled over by Molly. 

“No, you can’t leave too!” she cried. 

Julian looked up from the ground to see a sobbing Molly, “Honey, honey,” he soothed. “I don’t plan on going anywhere, so long as I have say in the matter,” he replied. 

“You promise?” she asked, her eyes red with fresh tears. 

“I promise. So long as ‘I’ have say in the matter, I’m not going anywhere,” he replied softly and hugged her as he sat up, seeing Miles looking like he too was going to cry again. “Hey, hey. No more tears guys. Yoshi and I are about to have a good breakfast. Did you guys eat?” he asked hoping to change the course of this emotional moment. 

“No, and those pancakes smell great,” Miles replied understanding this as well. 

The rest of the day the four of them spent time talking and sharing feelings, and helping each other heal some of the pain that they all were feeling. 

****************

Miles was able to stop his transfer from DS9, stopped with the help of Colonel Kira. Julian had to go back to work after two weeks; Miles had an additional two to help get things adjusted for him and the kids. He couldn’t believe how wonderful Julian was about everything. He would watch the kids if he was free, and was around ever spare moment he had, even sleeping on the couch more often then he did his own bed over the month. 

Then over the next two months that followed, it was becoming an expected thing for Miles to come home to find Julian, and Molly setting the table with a bit of help from Yoshi. He felt comforted and guilty. Julian was giving so much, and Miles was unsure if he could give him anything back. He saw it in the young man’s face, the love, the caring, and the fact that he wasn’t asking for a single thing back…but Miles wasn’t like that. He couldn’t keep letting Julian give everything for nothing. Tonight they had to talk, and some decisions needed to be made. 

So after dinner, Miles quietly asked Kira if she’d watch the kids, and grateful she agreed. She assumed that two friends wanted time off to play, he didn’t correct her. When Julian came back from a quick run to the infirmary the first thing he did was call for Yoshi, it was bath night. 

“I sent the kids to Kira’s,” Miles said handing Julian some wine as he held his scotch, and sat on the couch. 

Julian saw the look, this wasn’t going to be a conversation he was going to like, //He doesn’t need me anymore, // he thought silently as he took a seat. //Well, I guess I’ll make it as easy on him as I can. // “What is it, Miles?”

Miles looked into Julian’s dark eyes and wondered how he could say what he wanted too, “Julian,” he said clearing his throat. “We’ve been best friends for a long time now, right?”

“Yes, Miles we have been and still are,” he replied cautiously. 

“After all that’s happened, you’ve been wonderful. You’ve been here every step of the way…I’ve just…”

“I understand, Miles. I’ve overstayed my welcome, I’m sorry,” Julian replied softly.

Miles growled. “No, Damn it. That is not what I’m trying to say,” He said. 

“Miles, it’s okay. I know I have, it’s just that I…”

“Julian, shut up! I’m trying to tell you I love you!” he snapped, then blushed at how poorly it came out. “Well, so much for being romantic about it,” he said, taking a gulp of scotch. He knew Julian loved his kids, but he wasn’t sure how he’d feel about him or a relationship with him. The truth was he didn’t think Julian had ever been with a man, and well, neither had he. But Julian had always proven to be the exception to every rule in Miles book. 

Julian’s eyes went wide, “You love me?” he finally asked after a few moment to determined if he heard right. He couldn’t believe it, he knew how much he cared for Miles, but he couldn’t believe, no matter how much Kieko had insisted that he loved him that way. 

Miles looked at Julian, figuring he might as well face whatever rejection the young man may give him. At least he could be honest about things, and Julian would stop giving so much and winning his heart even more. “Yes, that’s what I said. I love you Julian. I have for a long time, she was right. But had it not been…” he let his voice trail off. 

“I know, Miles. I feel the same way. I would never…” Julian took a deep breath. “I have loved you too for so long as well. I want to be with you, here with your family, as much or as little as you want me,” he said sincerely. 

“Ah, damn Julian,” Miles replied as he shifted closer. “Even a little of you goes a long way,” he smiled. “I can’t see the future, Julian. I just know how I feel now and that I want to be with you. Though, I have to tell you, I’ve never been with a man…you…you make me want to…” his face flushed. 

Julian’s dark eyes sparkled, not only did Miles love him, he wanted to be with him. “Oh, Miles,” he replied in a husky voice and moved in close and let his lips brush up on to the older man’s. Then after a few seconds, Julian pressed his mouth harder on Miles who was responding wantonly. Julian let his tongue lick over Miles to signal he wanted in, when he got it, he let his tongue explore every inch of the other man’s sweet mouth, as his arms snaked around Miles broad shoulders and pulled him into a tight embrace. “Oh, Miles,” he whispered into the older man’s ear after the need for air had them break the seal on their kiss. “I want to make love with you,” he said as he started kissing down the pale skin along the older man’s neck. 

Miles had never kissed a man until just a minute ago, but after tasting Julian and feeling how good the young man felt in his arms, his mind was wondering why the hell not. He felt Julian’s arm’s around him and a fire in his groin started to burn that he never thought possible. He let his hand slip around the slim waist and started caressing the strong sleek body in his arms, loving the sensation to the fullest. Then when he heard Julian’s voice in his ear, and his warm breath tickling his skin, he thought he could cum just from listening to this beautiful young man talk to him, especially when he asked if they could make love. “Oh yes!” he cried out, not only to answer Julian’s question but in response at how good it felt having that hot sensuous mouth running up and down his neck. He leaned in and decided to see how Julian tasted. He found the golden skin he had from time to time, dreamed of, tangy, spicy, and sweet all at the same time, just like Julian himself. Miles wanted more, so he let his hand move around to the hidden zipper of Julian’s uniform and undid it. His fingers felt as if they were touching fire, the heat from Julian’s body was so intense, but he faced the burn and caressed strong smooth shoulders and pulled off Julian’s top of the suit off. 

Miles stopped kissing Julian’s neck long enough to take in the vision of Julian’s strong golden chest. Though he had seen it from time to time, he never allowed himself the opportunity to enjoy the beauty as he would now. “Your bloody, gorgeous,” Miles breathed out as he reached up an started caressing the young man’s chest, letting his fingers play with the dark nubs that were hardening under his teasing touch. “Bloody gorgeous,” Miles breathed out again, and then moved in to capture Julian’s hot mouth. 

Miles was glad he had one of the older style uniforms on, so Julian didn’t have any trouble reaching underneath his shirt and pulling it off. The sensation of Julian’s hands on is skin was going straight to his groin. He wanted this man more than breath at the moment…more than any moment he could remember. As soon as his shirt was off, he pulled Julian to him so skin could touch skin and the sensation alone made both men to moan in ecstasy. “I love you, Julian,” Miles moaned as he let his hands pull, grope and caress the young sexy body under his touch. 

“I love you too, Miles,” Julian breathed back, as his body burned with and intensity he never felt with any woman he had ever been with. He felt wanted, loved, desired, and on fire. He wanted to give himself to this man, have him take him, do with him what ever he wanted, he didn’t care, so long as it was Miles doing it, he would feel safe and wanted. He was also so hard he uniform was becoming way too tight. He shifted so he could kiss down Miles strong chest and see how he could make him moan as he sucked on one of the older man’s nipples; he also was slipping out of the rest of his jumpsuit. He had already kicked off his boots, so while he was licking, sucking on Miles’ chest, he was on his knees on the sofa, he pulled it down, then over his knees one at a time, then he moved his mouth so Miles could kiss him deeply again, and he kicked the rest of his uniform off, leaving only a tight pair of briefs.

Though Miles was in heaven, he was fully aware of Julian striping off the rest of his uniform. After he kissed that hot mouth he moved back to take in all of Julian’s form. He was still wearing his underwear. “Stand up,” he said softly. He saw Julian flush but did as he was told. Miles could see the weeping cock through the dark blue brief and reached out and touched it. He heard Julian moan in pleasure and felt the hard penis twitch under his touch. He then reached around and placed his fingers under the waistband then gently pulled them down, making sure they didn’t get tangled on the hard flesh that was demanding to be free. His eyes took in all the hidden beauty that was now standing before him, as Julian kicked off his underwear as it fell to his ankles. 

Miles hands started caressing smooth golden skin around Julian’s firm hips then caressed the smooth muscular stomach then down to his tight thighs. The man was beautiful, and more muscular than the uniform or even that racquetball suite gave him credit for. Then he let his hands moved along the beautiful eight inch, uncut piece of flesh that was weeping for attention. The sound of Julian’s ecstasy was overwhelming to the older man. He wanted nothing more than to please Julian, make him come harder than ever. Miles may not have been with a man before, but he wasn’t naïve, he knew what kind of things men liked, and he knew what Julian would like. Though he never did it before, he really wanted to know how Julian would taste. 

Julian was on fire, he was sure he would cum soon. Miles touch burned to his core, a place he never felt touched in his life. Standing before the older man, letting him take off his underwear was totally erotic for Julian. Then standing here letting his hands wander wherever they liked, freely giving of him self, yes he liked this very much. The women he had been with always wanted him to be the aggressor, but that was not the role he was playing now. He couldn’t help it, his hands caressed his own chest, and he felt so free inside as Miles hand’s roamed his body. Then when he felt those strong hands grab around his cock he was sure he’d cum then and there, but his body would obey what Miles wanted, and he didn’t feel Miles wanted him to do that yet. Then when he felt his cock being emerged in a warm moist, hot mouth, he was lost to Miles. He wanted to tell Miles he didn’t have to do this, but he couldn’t speak, he just wanted to give himself to his lover. 

Julian groaned it felt so good, that he couldn’t control himself, he had to thrust his hips so his cock was fucking that hot mouth that was licking and sucking it. He then felt the strong hands wrap around his waist as he felt himself going deeper with his thrust into Miles wet hole. He felt the bubbling inside as his balls started to pull up, letting him know he was close. 

Miles couldn’t believe how good this tasted, and how delicious Julian tasted. He wanted all of what Julian had to offer. When he felt Julian start to thrust into his face, his own cock twitched. Soon he was on his knees wrapping his hands around his lover’s waist and relaxing his throat to let Julian fuck his face. He wanted it all, he wanted Julian so much, that he licked and sucked his cock to please him, but he still wanted to be in control, a deep need to possess this young beauty fully. He sucked and licked until he could see Julian’s balls start to pull up, a sign that he was close. “Don’t cum till I tell you,” he said in between licks. When he heard Julian groan, he knew this young man wouldn’t do it…not until told to. Miles suddenly wanted to see just how far Julian would obey his request. He stopped sucking then moved to lick the tight balls, eliciting a cry of pleasure every time. Then he kissed the delicate golden flesh of the tight muscular thighs, giving soft nips with his teeth. 

“Oh, Miles, please!” Julian begged. “Let me, please!” 

The sound of a flustered begging Julian was erotic to Miles ears and when he looked up and saw the beautiful flustered golden body, Julian’s head back, his eyes closed and the sweat pouring down the sculptured chest, it was breath taking. He released his own cock and started pumping his own as he resumed licking the cock before his face. The beautiful expressions that Julian was making was enticing that he felt he too was going to cum. “Now,” he said as he deep throated Julian and sucked without mercy. One, two, three, Julian screamed his name as his throat filled with the tantalizing cream he had only been receiving small licks of. The feeling of Julian cumming in his mouth sent himself over the edge. He swallowed and let go as he gave his own roar as he came then and there. When he opened his eyes, before him now on his knees too, was Julian, with a beautiful Cheshire cat smile. “Like that, did ya?” Miles asked in a low tired voice. 

Julian laughed lightly, “Oh yeah, I like that,” he smiled and leaned in and kissed Miles, tasting himself on the older man. Then he leaned back and smiled. “Can I talk you into exploring the shower with me?” he asked with a sly grin. 

“Julian, you can talk me into exploring a nova with you,” Miles replied as the two men helped each other up and embraced. 

“I don’t want you sleeping on the couch anymore,” Miles whispered in Julian’s ear.

Julian leaned back puzzled, wondering why now of all times that Miles would tell him to go and sleep in his room afterwards. 

Miles seeing the misunderstanding, “No, I mean, you belong in my bed,” he clarified. “And that’s where I want you from now on,” he smiled. 

Julian’ blushed, seeing that Miles had seen his misunderstanding, “But the kids?” he asked. 

“They know you love them, and now they’ll know I love you too. They also know that you are doing as you said, not replacing anyone, just loving us too,” Miles said with a smile. “Now, about that shower…we should clean up out here first…kids you know, then the shower, than bed. Kira has the kids until tomorrow,” he grinned. 

“Yes, Miles,” Julian smirked. 

“Now that, is a sound I can get use to hearing,” Miles teased. 

“I love you, Miles. But don’t count on it,” Julian teased back. Then the two men cleaned up the living room then took a very long shower then went to bed where Miles discovered first hand the benefits and the draw backs of having a genetically enhanced lover. Though soon they both were sound asleep snuggled in each other’s arms, a happy smile on both their faces. Neither man aware of the pair of eyes watching them. 

“You did the right thing,” a woman softly said. 

“Yeah, I did. Though it took them long enough, Jadzia. I thought I was going to have to start haunting Miles or something,” Kieko laughed. 

“I’m glad to finally see that Julian is with someone he can settle down with and have the family deep down he always wanted,” Jadzia replied hugging her friend Keiko. 

“Yeah, and Molly and Kirayoshi will be happy too,” Kieko smiled, not able to feel sadness for the joy she had brought the loved ones she had to leave behind…for this was apart of life. 

“Yes, and of course when the twins get here,” Jadzia smirked.

Kieko looked at Jadzia, “Twins?”

“When your on this side as long as I have been, you get to see glimpses in the future, so yes twins...but, that’s their story, Kieko, ours is over…for now,” Jadzia smirked and took a hold of her friend’s hand and took her across to the other side, knowing that Kieko would be able to rest now that her last wish was fulfilled to the fullest. 


End file.
